


Change of Heart

by TotallyRadioactive15



Category: Ballum, EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Dating, Decisions, Drinking, Family Drama, Family Fluff, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Up, Romance, Scheming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22069429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotallyRadioactive15/pseuds/TotallyRadioactive15
Summary: Callum returns to try and salvage his relationship with Ben, however things don't go to plan resulting in Lola and Jay teaming up with Callum and Stuart, to try and make Ben change his mind.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 4
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had a bit of a hard time accepting the break up, it came at a very stressful time for me which made it 10x times harder to get through it, as I was expecting our boys to help me escape my day to day life, but that was not to be the case. 
> 
> Instead I decided to focus my mind and write a multi-chaptered story.  
> This is my first real attempt at something like this with actual narrative which I have planned out and structured. 
> 
> This is my take on what I would like to happen taking inspiration from the spoilers and putting my own spin on it..
> 
> I really hope you like it, I'd love to hear what you guys think?

Chapter 1: 

The sky is dark and cloudy when he walks out of the Walford tube station. He thinks back to when he was last here, only a few weeks ago but it feels like a lifetime. The sky reflects how he left. Heartbroken. 

Deep down he knew Ben hadn't meant what he had said, not really and he understood now why he had done it but it didn't stop if from hurting. He felt the pain deep down into his soul. The fact that he could also see that it had hurt Ben from the sheer volume of tears leaking from the corners of his eyes coupled with the fact that he knew the younger man so well made him feel a little better, not much but enough to get him through the last few weeks.  
A small glimmer of hope in the dark and cloudy depths of his mind. 

He picked up his bag from where he had placed it on the floor and headed out of the station.  
After dropping his bag at the flat and changing, avoiding Stuart and Rainie at the funeral parlor Callum went in search for Ben. 

In hindsight it should have been easy to find the man, but alas Callum just wasnt sure.  
He started at the Arches but that was all locked up, same at the Mitchells. He even poked his head in at the Vic but came up with nothing. The car lot was the last place he had looked and probably should have been the first. 

*********

'Oh God' Ben moaned as he bounced up and down on Callum, He felt the most intense pleasure run deep through his veins.  
He felt Callum's hand around his naked wast pulling his body into his. Hard. 

'That's it baby, your doing so well' Callum whispered as he slammed up into the younger man. He liked it when his boyfriend called him his baby, He felt safe and loved.  
'Callum!' Ben shouted as he came, splashing come over both of their stomachs 

'Ben?' 

'BEN?'

Ben opened his eyes suddenly and looked around him.  
It was the 3rd time this week this had happened. Although Callum had left the square on Christmas Eve he had never left his thoughts. His time with the older man had been the best of his lie, and now all he had left was memories to get him through the cold and lonely nights.

He had regretted what he had said the moments those terrible words had left his mouth, but it had to be done. It was the only way. Now everything was finished with he had done what he had set out to do, everyone's life was back in order apart from Ben's. His was nowhere near. 

He jerked out of his thoughts looking around him again and suddenly realising who it was, who it was calling his name. Someone he hadn't expected to see but was relieved that he had come back.

'Callum?' 

'Hello Ben' 

'What are you doing here?' Ben asked before he realised what was coming out of his mouth.

'I came to see you, looked everywhere... thought we could talk'?' Callum told him eyes darting around the car lot trying to look anyway but Ben's

Ben wasn't even sure what to do or say. On one hand he wanted so much to get up from the chair, run to the older man and hold him in his arms, apologize repeatedly and tell him how he felt, but on the other hand his brain was telling him he couldn't.  
Even though everything was finished with Phil, Sharon and Keanu he was still being watched and still couldn't bring Callum back into his dark world.

Sure they could talk but he didnt know how that would help?

Ben pulled himself up from the chair, He walked around the desk so that he was closer to Callum than he had been. He looked him up and down, taking in his apperance. He was still the same man the only difference was the slight dusting of stubble on his face. Ben wished he could run his hand over it, feeling the contrast between the soft skin and prickly hair, But he knew he couldn't. 

Ben took a deep breath. 

'I'm sorry Callum but nothing had changed' He said regretfully, now looking straight into Callum's eyes burning him with his stare.  
'Everything I said is still true' Ben whispered looking down so that Callum couldnt see the wave of tears fill his eyes. 

'Your lying, you where lying then and your lying now, you forget Ben I know you better than you know yourself' Callum confessed reaching out to softly touch Ben's shoulder. 

Ben walked backwards shaking his head  
'We cant. It's still not safe for you to be with me, I meant what I said... find somebody else to love' Ben told him looking up from the floor but this time his eyes never made it back to Callum's. 

'I Love you Ben, I'm in love with you and I can't just shut my feeling's off for you. I will not. I had to do that once before and it's not happening again. I have waited half my life to have this and I'm not letting it go, I'm not letting you go no matter how hard you push me away' Callum told him eyes at last filling with tears. 

'You have to, I cant be with you Callum' Ben told him tears continuing to build behind his eyes. 

'Tell me you dont love me...look into my eyes and tell me again' Callum asked walking back towards Ben and placing both hands on either side of his head. 

Ben stood in silence.

He won't say it again, he can't. So instead he says nothing. 

His gaze leaves Callum's and once again focus on the floor.  
Callum sighs and takes a step backwards, Hands leaving Ben's warm body. 

'As I thought.... Well just remember that I will always love you, no matter what Ben' Callum told him feeling deflated 

He backs up and turns to face the door not wanting Ben to see him cry. Again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short one... Chapter 3 makes up for it as it is very long! :)

Chapter 2:

He settles back into a routine pretty quickly. Going to work and studying for his impending police exam, however he avoids walking across the square too much or dropping in on any of Ben's haunts.  
He didn't want to see Ben knowing the pain he would feel, he also didn't really want to bump into anyone else. He had already had enough of Stuart telling him how much better he could do and not to let Ben get him down, he really didnt want anyone else giving him their opinions or worst.

He was walking to the Minute Mart on his way to get a pint of milk when he heard her scream.  
'Callum! ' Lexi shouted from across the road   
'Lexi! what have I told you about running off!' Lola shouted as she followed the little girl to where she now stood next to the taller man. 

'Hello Princess' he said bending down so that the little girl could throw himself into his arms.  
'Did you have a nice christmas?' Callum asked leaning down properly so he was at the right height to meet Lexi's eyes.   
'Yes! Santa brought me loads of presents! I got an amazing pink Unicorn, which is almost as big as me! and lots of new books and a new doll!' She told him  
'Oh wow a Unicorn! you must have been a very good girl!' Callum cooed at her

'Did you have a nice christmas? Where were you? my daddy missed you, he tried to hide it but I know' she told him innocently   
'It was okay sweetheart, I had to spend it with some of my old friends, they dont have family like you do. I missed him too' Callum told her truthly  
He could feel his eyes grow cloudy as the little girl continued telling him about her Christmas. 

'Thats enough Lexi, I'm sure Callum has got the picture' Lola said trying to get her to stop talking, seeing how upset Callum was getting,   
She was going to rip Ben a new one when she saw him.

'Its okay, to be honest I missed this, I missed you guys' Callum admitted sadly  
Pulling himself back up into a standing position and gently brushing his fingers through lexi's hair. 

'Look I'm just dropping Lexi off at Jays so why dont you come back to ours, we can have a chat?' Dont worry Ben wont be there' she told him smiling.  
She felt slightly responsible for there mess, after all it had been her that had put him at ease for it to be dashed by the stupid idiot that was Lexi's dad.   
'Are you sure?' Callum asked  
'Adult conversation will be nice!' she said laughing 

'Okay, I'll just pop this back and I'll be round in 10'   
'Brilliant! Lexi Darling Callum's going now say goodbye'

'Bye Callum, you need to come and play with me soon! I've missed you too!' She cried, wrapping her little arms around his waist and holding him tightly   
'I will sweetheart' Callum whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before walking into the minute mart to pick up his milk. 

***

The door was open when he got to the Beales, so he let himself into the house. It felt really strange being inside this house without Ben. He felt a little uncomfortable, Lola however made him feel at ease instantly. She already had a cup of tea waiting for him on the table where she was sitting wih her own. 

'Firstly I wanna say that I'm sorry for what that idiot did... I cant believe it! you two are perfect for each other and I cant believe he would throw what you too have away for something stupid!   
You've got to believe in yourself Callum, dont let him win. Do you want him back?' she asked stopping to take a sip of her coffee.

'Of course.... I love him Lo, So much' Callum told her, he willed the tears to stay rested behind his eyes. This happened whenever he talked about Ben. 

'Well you just need a plan to get him back then. He'd stubborn but I know he loves you too. Don't listen to anything he says' Lola told him eaching across the table to hold his hand in hers. 

Like it did with Ben's it swamped her tiny hand. Callum wished so much it was Ben's hand he was holding, He missed the feeling. 

'and make sure you dont distance yourself from us, Just because Ben is being a dick doesnt mean we are not still your family. Me, Jay, Bobby, Kathy and of course Lexi. We still regard you as family, specially Lex!' 

Callum smiled it was nice to know that these people still cared for him. He hadnt lost everything. He just had to thibk of a better plan to make Ben realised they where meant to be together. No matter what it took.


	3. Chapter 3

~ Chapter 3 ~

'What are you drawing princess?' Ben asked walking into the Beales living room seeing Lexi sat at the table, colouring pencils litering the surface hasitly scribbling on the pink paper in front of her. 

'Me and Callum, he took me too the park and we played on the swings, and the seesaw and then he brought me an ice cream! I wanted to draw him a picture so he look at it and not be sad anymore' Lexi told her dad carrying on with her picture. 

'Why is Callum sad? and when did you see him?' Ben asked confused  
'This morning! he took me last week too but this time we stayed in the square cos the bigger park we went to last time he was sad at, I asked him why and he said he had memories there so thats why mummy suggested we stay in the sqaure... I dont know why Callum is sad, mummy told me its cos something you did?' she asked innocently shrugging her shoulders 

'I think you should make up with him daddy, then you wont be sad no more'   
Ben closed his eyes and sighed, his daughter was so clever but sometimes it wasnt as easy as just making up. 

'LOLA! Ben shouted up the stairs  
She walked down moments later 

'Whats rained on your parade?' she asked seeing the look on his face  
Ben stopped for a second remembering speaking those exact words to Callum only a couple of months earlier  
'Nothing! what's this about Callum taking Lexi to the park last week and this morning' He asked following her into the kitchen  
'Whats it to you?' she asked busying herself with the kettle  
'Its just the first I've heard of it thats all' 

'I saw Callum a few weeks ago, we had a chat and I told him not to distance himself from his family, Lexi loves him and enjoys spending time with him' Lola told him  
'Is that okay with you?' she asks sarcastically   
'Yeah fine' Ben replied he walked back into the living toom and sat down with his daughter,   
'Tell me what other things you have done with Callum then princess?

*****

Ben was now slightly pissed off, after realising that Callum and Lexi had been playing together on a regular basis, whether it was taking her to the park or playing princess tea parties, Callum had found a family with his daughter and although he wasn't mad at that he was a little bit jealous with the time he was spending with his daughter. He couldnt help but think about the fact this could have been him, Callum and Lexi having fun together. 

He squashed the ideas to the back of his ind and continued to walk to the cafe.  
Once inside he ordered a coffee and walked to where Jay was sitting.   
'Alright?' He asked his brother sitting down in the chair on the opposite side.   
'What do you want? aint you mean to be at the car lot?' Jay asked looking up from the paper he was reading

'I'm on a break! anyway I'm glad I bumped into you, I wanted to ask if you had seen Callum? and if you knew how he is' he asked trying to tone down his feelings  
'Why do you care? wasnt it you that broke his heart?' Jay asked giving him the eyebrow

'I care Jay, you know I do. You know the reason I did what I did... I just.. I just wanna know how he is' Ben told him sincerly  
'I tried to speak to Lola, but she doesnt want to talk to me about it apparently' Ben told him defeated

'Can you not tell her the real reason, maybe she might understand more' Jay told him turningt he page of the newspaper and taking a sip of his coffee.  
'You know I cant' Ben told him drinking some of his own coffee  
'Look are you going to tell me if he is okay? or not?' Ben asked now getting angry  
Jay sighed

'He's fine, back at the flat, back at the parlor, revising for the police exam and spending his free time with his Brother, Bobby and Lola. There that enough for you?' Jay asked bluntly

Ben wasnt going to admit he now felt even worse knowing all that than he did before. He decided to go back to the car lot and try to do a few odd jobs to take his mind of things or more importantly person. 

*******

He was daydreaming, looking out of the window through the hole in the blinds when he saw the guy that occupied all his thoughts.

Callum was walking through the square with Bobby and Kathy. He felt jealous now, Callum was spending more time with his family than he was, Okay so that may have been his fault but it didn't matter. Not only was Callum still very much a part of his family what hurt the most was that he wasnt part of Callums. 

He decided to shut up slightly earlier than normal so he could pay Lola another visit. After much thinking he decided maybe he should speak to her again, she was resoursful maybe she had an idea to either help get him back or at least out of his mind so he could get on with his life.   
Luckliy all was quiet at the Beales.   
Lola was watching TV and it looked like nobody else was in. 

'So I spoke to Jay about Callum' he said loudly so she would hear him over the TV

'FORGOODNESS SAKE BEN!' 'Why do you care!?, You broke up with him! you broke his heart and now all I hear you talk about is Callum, why can you not just let him go like you did before christmas!' Lola said shouting as she got up from the sofa and stomped over to Ben. 

'Its not that simple Lo, I didn't want too, but I had no choice' Ben admitted purposly leaving out some important factors

What the fuck are you taking about! of course you had a choice!' Lola shouted at him, getting in his face  
Ben stood still and let Lola shout at him, he had learnt his lesson, it was better this way. 

'and now thanks to your stupid desicion i look like a Liar! he came to me unsure on what to get you and whether or not you would like it, he was so scared he would get it wrong and i told him how much you had changed becuase of him, how good you where together. I gave him hope and trust, pushed him to tell you! So he tells you he loves you, bleeds out all of his emotions for you... on my say so, and what do you go and do!?' 

She pauses 

'You stamp all over his feelings! you throw his love back into his face, YOU BROKE HIM BEN!' and now all you have to say is you didnt have a choice. Did someone put a gun to your head! tell me Ben, what are you not telling me?!' she shouted finally taking a step back and letting him speak.

'I LOVE HIM!, Okay I'm in love with him so i broke it off so I could protect him, I can't, I won't watch him be ruined by me and my family. You know what Phil's like, it was help him or he would drink himslf to death! I didn't want him to die, so I had to let him go! I hate myself, I hate what I said to him, but i didn't have a choice. I'm carrying around the wallet he gave me and everytime I look at it I feel like my heart crushing and breaking in two' He cried, really cried for the first time since that night, he let the tears fall down his cheeks.   
His body felt weak, he stumbled backwards and felt himself drop to the floor. knees bent and pulled tightly to his chest as he cried into his hands. 

'You know Ben I do understand, I understand better now, but what you did was wrong Ben, you should have told Callum what was going on, he would have supported you. now I don't want to know what you've actually done but Ben you've done it now and God I cant believe I'm saying this but you now have to let him go... as you said find someone else to love. You've blown you chance to be happy Ben and that was on you' She told him placing a hand on his shoulder as she walked past

'I cant, I cant.. I dont think I could cope seeing him with another man... My Callum' Ben mumbled crying into his hands some more.   
'You dont have a choice' Lola told him 

She walked back into the kitchen smiling at the plan that was forming in her mind. she just had to get Jay and Callum to agree.


	4. Chapter 4

~ Chapter 4 ~ 

'What's so secretive?' Stuart asked as he walked inot the living room of the Beales.  
'Why do we have to meet here? we could have meet in the pub!' He continued looking over at Lola who was apparently conducting this sudden meeting.

'We couldn't have done it at the pub, could we? where Ben spends half his life. we would have been found out for sure!' she replied ashering them into the living room and gestering at them to take a seat.

Jay walked in to the room moments later with 4 bottles of beer, handing them around before finding a seat for himself.  
'What are we doing here anyway?' Rainie asked   
'Right well as we all know Callum and Ben are no longer -'   
'Who's fault is that!' Stuart interupped  
'Shut up!' Lola bit back before continuing.

'But we all know that they are meant to be together and although neither are admiting it they both still love each other so I though it was time we came up with a plan' Lola told him 

'So I thought we could get Callum to make Ben jealous by going on dates with other guys, we set him up... I've got some contacts and I'm sure Rainie does too. Ben told me yesturday the one thing he couldnt cope with was watching Callum date others so lets give him just that and maybe it will give him the push he needs.. what do you think?' she finished looking around at all the dumbstruck faces  
'Ooo a brilliant idea!' Rainie cooed 

'And how are we going to get Callum to agree?' Jay asked noting the massive problem in this plan   
'He'll never go for it' Stuart mumbled

'Lexi, hold on!'

Callum's voice in the kitche rang through the living room cutting through the silence that had now formed. Lola pulled her lips in and made a face looking to the floor as Lexi ran into the room. Callum following closely behind.

'Hi Mummy, Uncle Jay!' she cried lanuching herself into Lola's arms

'What the hell is going on here?' Callum asked sternly

*****

'Absolutely not! No way! I'm not doing that!' Callum yelled as soon as Lola and Jay had explained what the plan was.  
'Why not? what have you got to loose?' Stuart asked 

'You dont even like Ben, so why are you trying to get me to do this... I thought you'd be happy that we are not together anymore? Callum called out his brother.

'I may have been wrong okay? I'm not his no.1 fan but I love you bruv, I just want you to be happy and if that's with Ben... then thats fine with me' Staurt admitted getting up to give his brother a hug.

Callum pulled backwards and looked at the group. he couldn't believe he was actually even considering it.

'What if he finds out what i've done? then he really will hate me.. anyway what about those other men? i'll be using them... I dont want anyone else... I just want Ben' Callum admited trying not to cry in front of his friends and family.

'We know you do bruv, even I can see that this may be the only way... you and him are very much alike, your too damn stubbon! just let us help you? I promise we wont let it get to far' Stuart told him 

Lola got up holding Lexi in her arms and walking towards him.

'It's the only way babe, he needs to see you, needs to see what he has done' Lola told him

He blinked trying to get his emotions in check at the word 'Babe' that term of ederament was reserved for Ben.   
He knew they where right, Ben had to see him move on, be with someone else before he realised what he had done. that would be his downward spirl, his motivtion to get back what he had lost.

'You want your daddy and callum to get back together dont you sweetheart' Lola asked Lexi 

Trust her to use the kid to get what she wanted

'Yes! Callum needs to make my daddy happy again!' she cried leaning over to Callum's ear and trying to pull him down so she could whisper.   
'And my daddy needs to make you happy again'


	5. Chapter 5

~ Chapter 5 ~ 

His eyes filled with rage as he watched from afar, the jealousy that had been buried slowly returning to the surface.   
At first he thought he was seeing things, Callum. His Callum with another man, not likely but on further inspection his worst nightmare was materialising before his eyes. 

How could he move on that quickly, only a few weeks ago he had declared his love for Ben and now he had moved on just like that. Maybe this wasnt Callum's doing, but it still pained him to watch the man he loved with another.   
Ben had been walking out of the car lot to change a few signs when he had seen them. Callum was walking with the man through the square although they where not holding hands they defiantly looked more than just friends. 

Callum was dressed it his work suit which meant he had probably come straight from work, the man with him however had made more of an effort. Ben had to admit the man wasnt un-attactive and if the situation was different he probably would have tried to get a leg over himself.

Ben watched them disappear into the Vic, for a split second he wondered whether he should follow however quickly dismissed that idea. Callum like always was holding the door open letting the other man enter first. He swore Callum looked in his direction even only for a second before he contiuned to walk In to the pub. 

Ben looked down at his watch and realised what the time was. He honestly didnt know where the time went nowadays not that he really cared anymore.   
He pulled the car lot door shut and locked it before heading across the square hesitating once again outside the pub before taking his own advice and contiuning in the direction of the funeral palor. 

He got there in record time only to find Jay had already locked up. He kicked the door in fustration before pulling out his phone from his pocket and calling his brother.

'Where are you?' he shouted down the phone the moment Jay answered.  
'Getting lunch or is that not allowed? Jay asked sarcasticly   
'Where about's are you? I need to talk' he told him lowering his voice this time around.   
'Chippy' Jay replied before shutting the call down. 

Ben tutted to himself before shoving his phone back inot his pocket and heading over to the chip shop.   
He found Jay sitting outside eating his lunch on the war memorial. 

'What do you need to talk to me about so desperatly?' Jay asked mid chip   
sighing when Ben bent over him to nick a chip before sitting on the bench next to him   
'Needs more salt' Ben said making a face  
Jay gave him a look   
'Callum' Ben admitted  
'For fuck sake Ben! Not this again!' Jay cried out 

'Yes this again, I've just seen Callum with another man!' Ben shouted  
'Good for him' Jay mumbled looking down at his lunch

'Sorry what! Good for him! thanks mate' Ben cried out causing people around them to stare  
'What do you want me to say? he wasn't going to hang around for you forever bruv, you missed your chance.. why cant you be happy for him?' Jay asked turning to look directly at Ben

'Because he's meant to be happy with me! ' Ben cried out suddenly realising what he had said and how much of a hypocrite he was fo even thinking it. 

'Come on you must now what this man is like? I've never seen him before... is he local?' Ben asked trying to move the conversation back towards Callum rather than himself.  
'Look mate if you want answers either you go and ask Callum yourself or you ask someone who actually cares, now can i enjoy my lunch in peace?' Jay told him bluntly 

Ben got up and stepped backwards   
'Thanks for nothing!' he said angrily turning and storming off. he'll find answers on his own. 

************

Callum took another swing of his beer, the man in front of him was nice, quite attractive, about his height, medium build, short brown hair and stubble. He reminded him a bit of Ben. Only he wasnt Ben and Callum felt uncomfortable. 

The guy was telling him his life story and Callum was bored.

He half listened to the guy as he drank some more of his beer thinking about Ben and his reaction if he was here.   
He looked around the bar as he drank some more before turning and focusing his attention back to the man in front of him, trying to look as if he was intrested. 

'What about you? 'the man asked stopping talking

Callum suddenly realised it was his turn to talk although he had no idea what the guy was asking him. 

He felt the guy place his hand on his thigh. This was not part of the plan. 

He hasity pulled his leg aeay and stared at the man. 

'Look you sound like a really nice guy and all but I'm just not ready to date yet, and i dont want to lead you on or nothing -' Callum started to say awkardly 

'Its alright.., I know' the man told him   
'What all this time you knew? why agree to go out with me then?' Callum asked feeling confused

'Rainies paying me... didnt you know?' the guy asked

'Oh Brillant!' Callum sighed   
'Look it was nice talking to you and thanks for the drink but I'm going to go' Callum told him pulling himself from the seat and shrugging his jacket on. 

'Send Rainie my love' The guy called out as he walked out of the pub. 

'She'll be getting alot more of that when i see her!' Callum muttered to himself under his breath as he walked out out onto the street.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, locations, storylines all rights go to EastEnders and the BBC


End file.
